The Stig Sayings

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The Stig Sayings

 Some say he never blinks and he roams around the woods at night foraging for wolves .

Some say he's wanted by the CIA and that he sleep upside down, like a bat .

Sine say that he appears on high value stamps in Sweden and that he can catch fish with his tongua .

Some say he is illegal in 17 US states and he blinks vertically .

Some say that his breath smells of magnesium and that his scared of bells .

Some say he naturally faces magnetic north and that all his legs are hydraulic .

Some say that he lives in a tree and that his sweat can be used to clean precious metals.

Some say that his heart ticks like a watch and that his confused by stairs .

Some say that his voice can only be heard by cats and that he has two sets of knees .

Some say that his terrified of ducks and that there's an airport in Russia named after him .

Some say that his brain is a Satellite navigation system .

Some say that his skin has the texture of a dolphin' s , and where ever you are in the world if your radios to 88,4 , you can actually hear his thoughts .

Some say that he has no understanding of clouds - and that his ear wax taste like Turkish delight .

Some say that his politics are terrifying , and that he once punched a horse to the ground .

Some say that his tears are adhesive , and that if he caught fire , he'd burn for a thousand days .

Some say that he can swim seven lengths under water , and he has webbed buttocks .

Some say that his heart is in upside down , and that his teeth glow in the dark .

Some say that his ears aren't exactly where you'd expect them to be , and that once , preposterously , he had an affair with John Prescott .

Some say he has a digital face , and if he felt like it , he could fire Alan Sugar .

Some say that his genitals are on upside down . And that if he could be bothered, he could crack the Da Vinci Code in 43 seconds .

Some say his ears have a Paisley lining , and he' s been banned from the Chelsea Flower Show .

Some say that the outline of his left nipple is exactly the same shape as the Nürburg ring , and that if you give him a really important job to do , he'll skive off and play croquet .

Some say he invented Branston Pickle, and that if you insult his mother, he will head-butt you in the chest .

Some say that on really warm days he shed his skin, like a snake, and for some reason he's allergic to the Dutch .

Some say that his first name really is "The" , and that if he went on Celebrity Love Island , they'd all be pregnant including the cameramen .

Some say he once thew a microwave oven at a tramp , and that long before anyone else he realized that Jade Goody was racist - pig - faced waste of blood and organs .

Some say that he once had a vicious knife fight with Anthea Turner , and that he is in no way implicated in the cash for hon-ours scandal .

Some say that he's a C.I.A. experiment that went wrong, and that he only eats cheese.

Some say that if you lick his chest it tastes exactly the same as piccalilli . And that at this week's Brit awards he was arrested for goosing Russell Brand .

Some say that he suck the moisture from ducks . And that his crash helmet is modeled on Britney Spear's head.
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Some say that he isn't machine-washable and all his potted plants are called Steve .

Some say His testicles are made from Titanium and that his under-pants are carbon-fibre .

Some say , he's actually dead..... But the Grim reaper , is too scared to tell him .

Some say that his pot plants are called Steve... and that he has a life size tattoo of his face... on his face .

Some say that he can hypnotize sheep, and that if he could be bothered he could swim the Atlantic ocean , underwater .

Some say , that he once co-presented a Brazilian show about blimp disasters, and that once , actually punched God.

Some say that he once killed a giraffe with just his feet and that he has a black belt in paper mache .

Some say he is 5 foot tall with lead in his feet, others say 6 feet with tall with air in his head... bit he doesn't care what you say .

Some say , He's contracted every STD known to man, and that he has inflatable breast to get him out of speeding tickets . All we know ... he 's called the STIG .

Some say , that he is one of protons in the Large Hadron Collider , AND that he creates miniature black holes every time he sneezes .

Some say he was the one who actually pulled Excalibur from the stone and that he is the rightful king of England .

Some say he gave birth to Chuck Norris , and that the mother was superman !!!!!!

Some say he has no understanding of queuing .

Some say , he once modelled for page 3... and his feet are made from dog leather .

Some say his upper torso is made of carbon fibre... and that his blood is 1 part petrol and 2 part diesel .

Some say he got turned down from I'm a celebrity , because people have heard of him !

Some say that only uses q-tips made of plutonium, and that his favorite comedy film is Hostel.

Some say that he has the mating call of a killer whale, and that he once counted to infinite...twice .

Some say he lives in a alleyway and his best friend is a cardboard box .

Thanks to (c) TopGear for great sayings .


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